How to build a life together: Chapter 6 (FLASHBACK)

Chapter 6: Jesse Pov

(Italics represent a flashback)

When Alex asked me to come in for coffee I become edgy even though I had the option of backing out. I knew I had to tell her earlier on before this thing went too far but just the mere thought that she may not like me anymore scared the hell out of me.
Deep breathe in, deep breathe out, deep breathe in, deep brea…

“Jesse!!” I hear Alex loudly calling out my name which immediately pulls me away from my thoughts.

“You okay?”

“Yeah am fine.”

“I asked if you take sugar?”

“Ahh no. No, I don’t.”

“Okay. You can take a seat. You don’t have to stand around.” She says as she points at the couch.

“Thanks.”

“You sure you okay? You seem jumpy all of a sudden.” She says as she takes a seat next to me.

“Yeah am fine. You have a beautiful house.”

“Thank you. My wife’s brother helped me design it. She’s an architect and part-time interior designer.”

“Well, she definitely has good taste.”

“Yeah, she does.” She says moving close to me. She places both of her hands on my cheeks moving her head in closer until her lips meet mine. Her tongue moves in sync with mine as my hand moves to her lower back. She moves one of her hands down to my thigh and that’s when my senses kick back in. I pull away immediately only to trip over.

“Dem it.” I say as I feel the pain from my fall.

“Shit… Jesse I am sorry.” She says as she offers me a hand.

“I shouldn’t have done that.” She continues once I am off the floor.

“I’m sorry. I’m so stupid. I just thought…”

“No. You ain't stupid. You thought right.” I say as I try to get her to look at me.

“Then why did you pull back?” She asked with hurt and hesitation evident in her voice.

“You just caught me off guard with your hand. I need to tell you something then you can decide if you want to go forward with this.”

“Okay. What is it?”

“Uhh There’s no easy way to say this. Something bad always happens when I open up about this.”

“How about you take a few deep breathes and take a seat you are making me nervous with all the pacing around.”

I do as she says taking a few deep breaths in and taking a seat on the couch.  Here goes nothing. I think to myself.

“I am different from how you are.” I pause as I think of how to say the next words.

“What do you mean by that? Could you be direct please?”

“Okay. Just don’t interrupt me until I am finished.”

“Okay. Go ahead then.”

“One in every a hundred kids is born different.” I start reciting the speech I have told various people in my life as she takes my hand into hers.

“I happen to be one of the hundred kids. You see I have this medical condition called intersex so I don’t fit perfectly into the spectrum of male or female.”

“Intersex?” She asked in disbelief sub-consciously or consciously letting go of my hand

“Yeah. I am an intersex person. I know this isn’t what you expected so am just going to leave.” I say standing up while she remains seated.

“If there’s even a chance that you would like to go out with me call me and if not we can still be friends no hard feelings if that’s what you would want.”I leave when it is clear that she is not going to say anything. I drive back to my place all the while hoping that she would call.